Well, this is technically not my story, but that of a cricket-crazy friend who almost missed his own wedding because of a cricket match and saved his skin with a half-cooked, ridiculous story!
There is absolutely nothing for a groom to do all day on the day of the wedding. The bride can get a last minute facial done or run her fingers dreamily down her wedding trousseau, or at least try to catch a beauty nap, but all that the groom is left to do is dodge cheek-pulling aunties and get in everybody’s way. But this was not a time to make anyone see reason. When the maddening buzz in the house started getting on his nerves, the heavy smell of mithai made him want to throw up, and a general sense of uselessness griped him, he quietly slipped into his jeans and t-shirt and sneaked out of the house for a walk. Or at least that was his intention.
Hilariously, he was not missed till it was time for lunch four hours later. And it was only when the special piled up plate went unclaimed that cousins were sent out around the house to look for him. They all came back empty-handed. The groom was missing. It was reported that he was last seen before breakfast. Someone tried his cellphone. It was discovered under a cushion. A grandaunt coyly suggested that maybe he had gone off to meet the bride. But when a younger cousin chimed in that only this morning bhaiya had looked as if he was having second thoughts about the wedding, total mayhem broke out. Just a feeling, he added hurriedly. But too late. Nervous whispers, discreet nudges, hands on hearts. The groom’s mother was escorted to the nearest sofa where she collapsed heavily. The father’s usual scowl deepened.
A neighbor (not a part of the search team) discovered him in an electronics store in the next block, sitting on the edge of a plastic chair, his nose almost touching the giant screen. The intrigued neighbor walked in, tapped him on the shoulder and wanted to know what he was doing there.
Huh? Was his comprehensive reply.
Isn’t it your wedding day?
Yes, it’s my wedding day, he said and smiled happily. His team had a big chance of winning.
It’s my wedding day!!!
He ran like a madman all the way home.
His mother hugged him like he was back from the war. The shehnai was started again. People picked up their half-eaten lunch plates. The wedding was back on.
Where were you? The father demanded.
Temple, he blurted out.
Temple? His parents chimed in unison. The last time he was at the temple was the day before his board exams, and then too, his mother had dragged him there.
Yes, I, uh… He came in my dreams and asked me to visit him today. It was a strong call. I had to go. I went and, uh, sat in front of God (not exactly untrue because Rahul Dravid is his God) for so many hours. I felt so much at peace. I lost all sense of time. Sorry mummy, dad.
He had said the first thing that had come to his mind. But he had instinctively known what would be the right thing to say to his deeply religious parents. The father was still scowling, but it was a permanent scowl, one he couldn’t help. The mother was all happy tears.
It’s a miracle, she kept repeating.
A bigger miracle was that he got away with that story.
Starsports.com has a great collection of videos for the top moments of the IPL. You can catch the funniest instances as well as the ones you can go Woohoo! over no matter how many times you watch them.